Saturday, June 11, 2011

The problem with people

The problem with people - They're not perfect.

if you boil it all down, most problems people have are with other people. Directly or indirectly they are that force behind many daily hassles.

Of course you can not solve the people issue by isolating yourself from everybody else since in addition to them being the source of much pain, many more are the source of much happiness.

Often we expect others to be perfect or nearly perfect. AKA other-oriented perfectionism. We hold others to standards that are impossible to maintain, often behavior never maintained ourselves. This expectation is always your definition of "perfect" and yours is always the correct one.

Problems occur as this expectation seems to rise with the direct proportion of closeness of the relationship. The highest level is usually reserved for people you know best, one of the main reasons why there is so much frustration and pressure when dealing with those closest. They have the ability to disappoint our expectations the most. The problem with people is our others-appointed approach. Letting go brings freedom and contentment.

T. Merton said "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

So any neurotic obsession with molding someone into your utopia version of themselves will only succeed in frustrating you and driving them away. There's always something toxic about expecting others to be perfect.

You will lift a huge burden the day you simply accept others for what they are and stop your crusade to try to change them. It's ourselves we imprison when we attempt to manipulate others to the point of change instead of simply wanting them for who they will become. When you discover beauty in imperfection it shows.

"Put on then, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other; as God has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3

"Let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves is of God and knows God. The person who does not love does not know God, because God is love" John 4:8


busymama431 said...

who wrote this?? :)

rebeca_ait18 said...

How incredibly accurate. I think someone (whom ever wrote this) just described me. And I never realized. Thank-you, and keep going strong in the Lord. I love this blog and this amazing family. :-)

Sheila said...

Hi Miller Family, I love reading your blog and following up on your beautiful family, I am truly blessed by it. I was wondering if I might be permitted to also read/follow the Ochenjele Family
Blog? I thank you so much and pray God richly blesses you always. ~Sheila~